How I Manage Laundry as a Mom with ADHD
Over the years, I’ve tried so many different strategies for managing laundry and finally found one that works for me.
First off, let’s get clear on why laundry is so hard for those of us with ADHD.
That’s such an important first step because when you let go of the shame about something be hard for you, it’s so much easier to find a solution that works for your brain.
Laundry is hard for us for many reasons.
There are so many steps. We hate steps. Steps require a lot of working memory and are very boring.
It’s repetitive and feels never ending. Our brains crave the satisfaction that comes from big complex tasks. Small tasks like switching the laundry and folding one load of laundry are very low reward and not satisfying. That is “easy” tasks are harder for us that “hard” tasks.
There is a lot of task switching involved in laundry. In order to complete the steps you often have to interrupt what you are doing and then lose focus and it makes it hard to get back in your flow. This can make follow through hard.
So, if you find laundry painfully hard, you aren’t alone.
Here’s what has worked for me in managing my laundry as a mom of 3 young kids.
I let go of being a perfect launderess. I don’t sort clothes by color and for a long time I didn’t iron. I now try to iron a few nice things once a month but only I added that once I had the capacity to add more. I initially focused on finding a system that I could maintain even if it wasn’t perfect. My goal is that we have clean clothes to wear with as little ongoing stress as possible.
I embrace that it’s an ongoing thing.
Laundry is something that can be very overwhelming for me. It’s the physical clutter of it that stresses me out so much. In order to avoid the piles of dirty clothes, I do a load of laundry most days. By that I mean that I start a load in the washing machine in the morning and move it to the dryer. If I have a little extra energy at night, I’ll load the washing machine and start it with an 8 hour delay so all that I have to do is move the load over in the morning. If not, I start a load of laundry while my tea is brewing and then move it over while I’m making my kid’s breakfast.
I’ve found the right chunks for me.
Washing daily is easier for me than washing a week’s worth of laundry at once but folding and putting away is a different story. Washing, folding and putting away one small load would be so boring and laborious for me. Instead, I move the dry clothes from the dryer in to my huge laundry cart. It’s big enough to hold a week’s worth of laundry for my family of 5. By the time it’s overflowing, it’s time for me to fold laundry which I do once a week while I watch a show. Here is my laundry cart.
I am flexible with it.
When I say I do a load of laundry most days, I mean that I check-in with the laundry every morning as part of my daily three. We have three hanging hampers. One in the master bedroom, one in the kid’s bathroom and one off the kitchen. Those get full in 1-2 days. Three full hampers equals one full load of laundry. It works better for our family to wash our laundry together because I live in Florida, I have two boys and we sweat a lot. If we leave clothes for more than a day or two, they get really stinky.
I wash all of the bathroom towels on Tuesdays and the bedding on Wednesdays so I often skip washing clothes on those days. I’m not super rigid about this system and my goal is to keep the laundry moving so that I avoid the big piles of dirty laundry. As long as the laundry isn’t piling up, dirty clothes are getting placed in the hamper, and I’m consistently washing and drying dirty clothes, than I’m in good shape. Here are the hampers we use.
I give myself that one moment of feeling “caught up” on the laundry by folding once a week.
It’s much more rewarding to my brain to have that moment of completion. I make it fun by folding laundry while I watch a show that I like. If my kids are home, I let them know that I get to watch my show because I’m doing laundry. I take over the family room because it’s what allows me to complete a task that I find very cumbersome. All of the folded clothes goes in to these blue baskets from target sorted by family member.
I divide up the task.
Folding laundry is a big task for me. Putting away laundry is also a big task for me. My ongoing goal is to do two weekly tasks each day. Folding laundry and putting away laundry are two separate tasks and I celebrate myself doing each of them separately. I’m currently in the habit of folding clothes on Monday evenings and then I usually put away my laundry on Tuesdays. My kids and husband each put away their own laundry basket though I do give them several reminders. Ideally, they’d all put away their laundry on Tuesday but as long as their baskets are back in their spot for me by Monday, I’m okay with that. For my youngest (she’s 6), I often help her sort her laundry then she puts it in to her drawers independently.
I set appropriate expectations.
If my kids are looking for a specific piece of clothing, they know where the clean laundry lives. They dig through the big laundry cart of clean clothes to find what they need. It is not my responsibility to have every item of clothing in their possession clean at all times. Specific items that they might need for sports (like long soccer socks) I’ve purchased multiples of so that we have enough to get through a week without complicating my laundry system.
I have the right amount of clothes.
We all have enough clothes to last a week but not so many more that we can go much longer. We live in an older home with very small closets and we don’t have a ton of space for lots of clothes. If I go much longer than a week, we’ll start running low on clothes which serves as a built in accountability.
I hope this was helpful to you! I plan to use this space as a place to go deeper and answer some of the questions that I get the most. I’d love to know what other areas you’d like to see me cover. Please leave a comment and let me know.
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